A Fraser/Vecchio Slash Novel
by Muriel Perun
COVER by Laura Shapiro
It's been over a year, but Ray Vecchio is still haunted by his time as Armando Langoustini. Nothing about his former life fits anymore, least of all Fraser, now back in town after his failed relationship with Kowalski. Can Vecchio pick up the pieces of his life when so many parts still seem to be missing?
Story excerpt:
The way everybody acted, you'd think he was still the Bookman. . . .
For a year he had played a monster. Not played - he'd been the
monster. He'd worn the monster's suits, shirts, cologne - Christ,
even his underwear. All the difference between him and that dead man
had been a little line of fake hair across his upper lip. He'd
looked like the monster, smelled like him. And worst of all he'd
thought like him, with only an occasional clench of adrenaline to
remind him he was human. In his heart, he knew he had never really
come back from that last assignment. He looked like Ray Vecchio,
walked and talked and dressed like Ray Vecchio, but he looked like a
dead gangster named Armando Langoustini, too. Maybe that's who he
really was. Not that it felt so bad to be that guy - he felt tough
inside, like no one could really get to him ever again...
Dulles glanced at Ray expectantly, but Ray wasn't thinking about risks or money. He was wondering what it would feel like to be that man again, the man who didn't give a fuck what anyone thought, who met violence with violence and always knew exactly what to do. A man who didn't have to worry about relationships because he didn't have any, and his sexuality was another way of having power over others, when it wasn't just a bodily function. Ray hated himself as the Bookman, but maybe the Bookman was who he really was.
"You want to help your country, don't you, Ray?" Carson asked smoothly. "Save innocent lives? We can take down Charlie and Liberty 's army at the same time. Remember the Oklahoma Federal Building Bombing? This could be --"
"Detective, these guys don't give a damn about you," Welsh said, looking at Carson defiantly. "If I were you, I would consider --"
"I'll do it," Ray said quickly, with the feeling he was grasping at a lifeline. "But this time I get a say in the plan."
