This Mirror Which Is My Soul (by D.V.S.)
It is a rare privilege to be given admission to the Un'falban Museum. Those who have been given this opportunity have seen some of the rarest scientific marvels of the universe. But when Spock arrives, his experience is something altogether different...
Chiaroscuro (a novella by Judi)
In an alternate universe, James Kirk is given a most unusual opportunity on the diplomatic staff of the Ambassador from Vulcan, an opportunity which he uses to fulfill his consuming passion for the stars. But the position brings him far more than he expected...
The Fire Give in to the Sun (a novella by Kathleen Resch)
Scientist Richard Delmar has vanished on the planet Sigma Gamma II. Science Officer Spock and a select crew go to the rescue - and vanish, as well. Kirk follows - but the Spock he encounters is far different from the Science Officer he knows so well. And this Spock is on an obsessive quest of his own - a quest that James Kirk discovers he must follow, as well.
Timelines (by A.T. Bush)
"Damnit, Bones, it's been too long," Kirk whirled toward his companion, thrusting the tricorder toward him. "I'm telling you something has gone wrong. I've scanned these readings three times. Vulcan history has changed."
"I didn't say it hadn't changed, Jim. I just said, give Spock a little more time."
Kirk stalked directly in front of the grey stone-metal archway where fast-paced images flickered across the portal. That same opening had swallowed Spock. "Guardian?" Kirk called, command tone ringing in the eerie quiet. "Guardian, return the travellor now!"
"THE TRAVELLOR CANNOT RETURN," the Guardian intoned.
Northern Star (by Susan Douglass)
James relentlessly turned his body on the bed. He had always felt he had achieved his greatest happiness in Lord S'pock's house, giving himself willingly. Then why had he felt that moment of pain and struggle when S'pock had taken him tonight? Why had he cringed under S'pock's thrusts?
No, he suddenly realized. He had not cringed. The flame of revolt had risen inside of him, if only for a brief moment. He had rebelled....
A Matter of Seduction (by Sharon St. James)
There was no way for Kirk to mask his outrage. "The cards are on the table, all right! I'm supposed to screw a he!"
"Exactly." The Admiral's blue eyes were hard and cold. "You'll do whatever it takes to get them to join the Federation. Understood?"
"I understand." Kirk rose. "If I'm Starfleet's prostitute, what does that make you?"
The conclusion of Sharon's acclaimed story. Kirk's only chance to regain his lost memory is with T'Pau of Vulcan - the woman who has forbidden his bonding to Spock. What price will she demand for her assistance?
P.R. (by Ursula Tulle)
Mendez inhaled deeply and braced himself. "The Enterprise has been assigned to provide assistance for a series of Via-Galactic Holo productions."
Kirk recognized the famous entertainment company. "What? You mean - mean VG Holo? Show business? US?"
A sexy Deltan actress wrecks havoc on the tentative beginnings of a relationship between Kirk and Spock
I Told You So (by Dana Austin March)
"So, you gonna tell me why you've been acting like a sun about to go nova?" The doctor leaned back in his chair, ready to be father, friend, confessor ass-kicker, depending on the current need.
"Spock and I can't agree what to do on your upcoming leave," Kirk admitted.
"It's only four days in orbit around Lamorin. Not like you have a helluva lot of choice," the doctor reminded. Only by main force and a healthy dose of self-preservative instinct did he refrain from laughing. The legendary Captain of the Enterprise had been turned into a yeoman-chewing terror by a marital spat.
Pursuing Hyacinths (by Jenna Sinclair)
Kirk turned his head to kiss the palm of the caressing hand. "I love you," he choked, overwhelmed by the onslaught of feelings that possessed his soul, and suddenly consumed by gult over what he knew was going to come next.
And he was right. Spock's hand slid up to seek the meld points on the side of his face. "Join with me," Spock whispered, asking permission, as he always did, before entering into a meld with his lover.
And for the very first time, Kirk pulled away from the touch of those loving fingers, and said, "No."
Kirk's inability to deal with the ramifications of the mindmeld drives a wedge in his relationship with Spock.;.. A wedge which is compounded by a negative Starfleet appraisal of his performance; inexplicable problems with the Enterprise; a mission involving two rival groups: fundamentalists versus scientists; and an unbonded Vulcan woman...
A Delicate Decameron (by Frances Rowes)
"It annoys you," Spock continued in the same doleful tone, "because you are unused to it. All your other lovers..."
"Oh, right, now we get to it; all my millions of other lovers..."
"Do not become angry. I merely wished to say that, having had so many of your dreams fulfilled by them, you must find me -- unutterably dull."
"Not dull," his lover smoothed the towel on the rail unnecessarily, "just different. I have my dreams for us, that's all."
"But you think you will never realize them." Spock nodded to himself.
"Don't you have fantasies -- dreams?" Kirk turned to him in appeal.
"Him," Spock admonished sadly, "you know I do not. We seldom imagine; we do not dream."
Spock, convinced that Kirk will soon tire of him, is disconcerted to be assigned alone on a mission to Delta. But there, he discovers a Book of Dreams... A Book which reveals the absolute range of the desires and fantasies long buried within his mind, from the heart of darkness to the ultimate in self-sacrifice... A Book he shares with Kirk...
The Lover Within (by Ellen O'Neil)
What happened next had the unreality of dreams, a nightmare from which, no matter how he tried, Spock couldn't wake... Kirk was settling back comfortably in his seat and saying, "You may fire when ready, Mr. Chekhov." ... the Tellarite ship exploded in a fireworks display of light. Spock stared around him as another raucous cheer went up from the bridge crew. All of them -- his fellow officers, his bondmate -- were cheering the destruction of an unarmed vessel. A chill ran over Spock as very detacheduly, very aloofly, he began cataloguing the possibilities. Either he had waked this morning in some hideous alternate reality, or, the Enterprise's officers, and perhaps the entire crew, had somehow been transformed in the night into the people he now saw...
When the cheering subsided, Kirk turned to the security officers. "I'm placing Mr. Spock under disciplinary confinement in my quarters," he said. "You will escort him there. Reprogram the lock so that it's inoperable from the inside and operable from the outside only at my voice command. Oh, the remove the computer terminal. He mustn't be allowed access to the computer." He turned back to the viewscreen.
An alien being is brought aboard the Enterprise... a being which brings to life the "wolf" in every single crewmember... except for Spock... Imprisoned by his lover, intent on escaping and finding a solution to this crisis, Spock discovers Kirk has developed a real taste for power games...
The Terran Teaser Meets the Double Whammy (by Ellen O'Neil)
Kirk started back toward his own cabin. As he moved past the sleeping alcove, he glanced absently toward the bed. The minute he did, something registered on his vision... Something that looked like, -- no, he must be mistaken. He had to be. That couldn't be a picture of a naked man lying in the floor beside Spock's bed. Could it? ... Kirk sank down on the edge of the bed, flabbergasted, his mind too shocked to think. He laid the publication in his lap and it fell open naturally to a page toward the rear. Kirk could only stare at the drawing... of a naked human male, standing, feet apart, looking down at the naked Vulcan male who knelt before him... Kirk ran his hand nervously through his hair. What was this porn -- and that's definitely what it was -- doing in Spock's quarters?
Additional fiction by Elyce Rae Helford, Alex Kane, Kate Singer & T'Other. Poetry by Ellen O'Neill & Dana Austin March. Covers by Marilyn Cole.
FULL CIRCLE by Killashandra (A sequel to "Turning Point" in "T'hy'la" # 18)
Kirk turned on him, eyes blazing. "What the devil did you think you were doing out there, anyway?" He began to pace again, agitated. "Did you think you could prove something? Or were you trying to get yourself killed?"
"Both," the Vulcan confessed, very quietly.
Kirk faltered. Some meters away, he turned, meeting Spock's gaze in the low light. "What?"
Spock only looked at him.
"You can't be serious." Kirk was shaking his head. "No. You can't mean that. You can't mean that you--" His voice caught. "You don't quit, Spock, not you. Not like that."
The Vulcan's lips curved slightly, painfully. "You are so certain."
Kirk's face twisted. "How can you ask me what I fear?"
Spock has left Starfleet, left Kirk, for Gol. And Admiral Kirk, Chief of Starfleet Operations, is slowly falling apart. When the Vejur crisis brings them back together, they must find some way to go on...
SMALL PACKAGES By T. Jonesy
Kirk picks out the perfect gift for Spock. What McCoy chooses is another matter indeed. And when the Doctor slyly substitutes one gift for another, farce reigns.
DARK STAR by Greywolf the Wanderer
Kirk turned. "Chekov! Take the Science station. FIND him!" No-one said it. The same thought was in all of their minds -- don't say it, and it won't be true...
Pavel jumped up. "Aye, keptin!" He took Spock's seat, and went to work. Very quickly he discovered that picking one Vulcan out of a ship full of Romulans is not easy. In fact he was not at all sure it was possible, but he wasn't about to tell the captain that. He'd just have to work that much harder. Spock could have done it, he was sure. Therefore he had to.... As Sulu gently took them to a different course, he peered into the scanner, trying desperately to see something that simply was not there...
The Romulan Commander is well aware of the reason the Enterprise has penetrated Romulan space - to steal the cloaking device. But she has motives of her own... and what she plans for Spock will forever alter his life...
DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL by Chris Jones
"I still do not understand how this tradition began. It seems..." Spock hesitated, looking for a word other than 'illogical.' "Unnecessary." He placed the last pile of folded clothes carefully in his travel bag and tabbed it closed.
Kirk, sitting on Spock's bed, grinned at the Vulcan's word choice. "It goes back to the 20th-century United States. Same-sex couples couldn't marry. The different-sex couples got weddings with big parties and lots of presents. All the same-sex couples ever got was a pat on the back and hearty congratulations. The Navy decided it wasn't fair, so they established 'don't ask, don't tell.' The same-sex couple were supposed to keep their relationship a secret, and their friends would try to find ways to make them acknowledge it without asking. When they finally trapped the couple, it was a great excuse for a party. Like surprise birthday parties." Kirk bent to take off his boots.
"Hmm," Spock said noncommittally. Surprise parties were another Human custom he found most illogical.
The efforts of virtually everyone on board the Enterprise to give Kirk and Spock an unforgettable party send everyone on a wild and merry chase throughout the quadrant...
ALSO: THE LIFE THAT LIES BEFORE, THE WEDDING GIFT and THE EDGE by Jungle Kitty; I CALL YOU CAPTAIN by Rosemarie Heaton; and WHAT HE'D DO FOR LOVE by Dana Austin March. Cover by Shelley Butler.
But now I contemplate the ruin of the life I have built here. The Enterprise,
whatever her other duties, is inarguably a military vessel. A blind man
cannot serve as her First Officer.
Nor does it seem likely that I can continue to function as head of the
Science Department. At the moment I would not be entirely able to care for my own
needs were I somewhere other than my own cabin, where everything is known to me
... My station on the bridge can produce verbal output on command, of course,
but this is only a desk terminal... Now I must reconfigure it once more, by
hand. And I keep thinking...
It is very possible that I have already worked my last shift on the bridge of
the Enterprise.
I shall have to leave this ship, which has been my only home for more than
thirteen years.
I shall have to leave Jim.
(Post Deneva. Spock faces the realities of life without sight... but in the
darkness he and Jim face new discoveries...)
SERPENTS IN THE GARDEN by Islaofhope
"Damn it, Spock, you know how I feel about this!" He took a step backward,
and Spock's hand fell to his side. "I've made my commitment to you. I 'married'
you in the Vulcan way."
Spock clenched his hands at his sides. "No, we are not 'married' in the
Vulcan way. We have a secret bond. I am at fault for not explaining--"
"Well, we can't explain." Barely registering Spock's words, he took several
steps across the room, massaging the back of his skull. "I'm your captain, and
that means I shouldn't even be having a sexual relationship with you. Hell,
Spock, Starfleet Command can break us up..." He snapped his fingers in the air.
"... just like that. As long as we're discreet, no one actually cares. But if
we do something stupid, they may throw regulations at us."
He turned away and pressed his hands flat on the desk, breathing deeply. "Why
isn't it enough that this is between us? Why do we have to bring all of
Vulcan into our bed?" He regretted his last words almost instantly when Spock
blanched.
(When Sarek proposes a "suitable female" for Spock's bondmate, he and Kirk
are forced to confront the realities of their relationship. This task is made
far more difficult when their mission to the planet Neural brings Kirk's old
lover Tyree back into the picture, and further complicated by the implications
of Kirk's disregard of the Prime Directive in supplying weapons to the natives,
and continual incursions by the Klingons.)
Both stories have appeared in earlier versions on the internet. Art by Liz Woledge; photo art by Virginia Sky.
SHADOW by Deanna Gray
Kirk is haunted by a bizarre nightmare image.
HOMEWARD BOUND by Seven of Six
The Mirage Planet is a deadly trap - and the being there is determined to
learn Vulcan secrets. After the ordeal is over, Spock determines to repress
what he learned there...
THESE ARE THE MOMENTS by Iris
Their experience at Deneva cause both Kirk and Spock to realize important
truths.
WITH OTHERS HANDS by Jat Sapphire
Strange phantom touches and unexpected fantasies cause Kirk to wonder if
he's going mad.
THE GIFT by T'Guess
A reporter gets a sought-after interview with the legendary Spock.
BLINDNESS by Virginia Sky
Dr. Miranda Jones leaves a message for Kirk which changes his life.
BONDED by W. I. Calendar
In the Mirror Universe, Spock responds to Kirk's treachery with a forced
bonding.
THE WRONG PLACE TO BE REAL by Islaofhope
Spock learns a great deal from a surprising encounter with Sam Kirk.
ONE PARTICULAR HARBOUR by Elise Madrid
Spock recalls a lifetime of memories with Kirk.
A FEW FOR THIS EVENING by Animasola
Kirk discovers a collection of erotic photos featuring a man looking
astonishingly like Spock.
TIME OUT by Cervelle Marias
After a grueling diplomatic mission, Kirk is highly anticipating his
shore leave with Spock.
Color cover by T'Guess, color interior art by Virginia Sky, additional stories and poetry (by Jungle Kitty, Helen, more). 250 pages. WARNINGS: One story contains mild bdsm.
After Jim Kirk's tragic death at the hands of a renegade Klingon, Spock decides to leave the service and go to Gol. But before he can do so, he finds himself faced with unforeseen circumstances that lead to some unexpected choices...and, incredibly, a chance to see Jim Kirk one last time....
"You have to forgive yourself for Jim's death," [McCoy said.] "Jim asked you to with his dying breath, and you have to find some way of doing it. Because otherwise it'll destroy you."
"I do not hold myself responsible for Jim's death," [Spock said.] "I have relived the incident over and over in my mind, as well as watching the record tapes in preparation for the Starfleet hearing, and I believe there was nothing I could have done to prevent it."
McCoy gave him a canny look, but apparently, something in Spock's face made him realize that the Vulcan was speaking the truth. "All right," he said, "so what ARE you feeling guilty about, Spock? And don't say it's nothing, because I know guilt when I see it."
Spock felt his lips tighten. But finally he just said it. "I never told Jim I loved him."
Stories:
CANNOT TOUCH- story and art by T'Guess
An end-of-mission/ST:TMP story.
"I am here to be of service, nothing more," Spock replied with chilling calm. "No answer is necessary nor will any be forthcoming. I will not speak of things that cannot be undone."
"Bullshit!" Kirk tightened his grasp. "Don't give me that Vulcan crap. Before you entered Gol, you 'took your leave', said your final good-byes to everyone but me. Why?"
THE EXPERIMENT by Nadja Lee
Their first time together was wonderful. After that, things started to go
wrong...
To his surprise Spock drew back from him with a flicker of pain in his eyes that was gone so quickly that Jim wasn't sure if he had seen it. Stunned and hurt, Jim drew back and watched as Spock swung his legs out of the bed on the opposite side of Jim. He stood up and turned towards Jim, standing as regal and calm as ever despite his nakedness.
MOONLIGHT THROUGH YOUR HAIR by Cynthia
A story set at Starfleet Academy.
"Finnegan, what the hell are you doing?" The words were rapped out by a boy at the door, and both heads turned in that direction. Kirk set his own suitcase down with a thud, and checked the room number.
"What are you..." he began, then caught the Vulcan's eyes. He smiled. "Hi. You must be Spock-I've just been going over your tape. Is this nut giving you a hard time?"
"I don't understand..." Spock began, and the stranger laughed. It was a warm sound and something in it lifted the Vulcan's spirits.
THE QUEGLAN by T'Marii
A horror story set on board the Enterprise. Contains graphic descriptions of
violence.
Alone in the guest quarters, the Queglan considered his options.
It was not going to be as easy as he had thought to get Spock alone: certainly not with that Human around him day and night. . . . Time was growing short. He only had perhaps six hours in which to accomplish his goal before the next cycle began.
RANDOM FACTORS by J S Cavalcante
After a landing party results in tragedy, Kirk and Spock face some surprising
revelations.
Kirk opened his eyes to find himself staring into Spock's, black as space, filled with that magnetic warmth.
Kirk would not pull away. When Spock had needed him to understand his feelings at Psi 2000, Kirk's response had necessarily been heartless. . . . Kirk was damned well not going to pull away now. He let his friend pull him closer, until there was no space at all between them. Kirk deliberately accepted the crushing embrace, choosing to yield to whatever his friend wanted. Or needed.
VULCANS DON'T SING THE BLUES by Linda Atkinson
Newly bonded, Kirk and Spock go to Vulcan to formalize their union.
Kirk wrapped his arm around his shivering bondmate's shoulders and guided him back to the bedroom. Spock settled down on the foot of the bed, arms wrapped tightly about his chest, closed from Kirk, and the human frowned. At no time since they had bonded had Spock seemed so inscrutable, so far from reach.
"What's wrong?" he asked. Spock merely cast a sideways glance at him, and then dropped his hands into his lap.
. . . . "I have tried to teach you the tenets of Vulcan-we are bonded, wed in my people's eyes. Yet you do not understand the most basic Vulcan principle of privacy."
"God! I'm sorry Spock, but the idea that one mate can keep something secret from another is alien to me" Kirk snapped then he mentally slapped himself when Spock's back stiffened like a ramrod.
"As I am alien, Jim. It is as it is.
Vignettes:
NOT HEAT by jat sapphire is a sequel to ST:TMP.
He pulled up, kissed Spock's palm, and pressed his face into it until they were almost in position for a mind-meld.
The feeling was anything but simple. Jim had noticed long before how little arcs of energy seemed to snap from Spock's fingertips straight into Jim's brain, a burn like icicles on the tongue or the flash of lightning on the eye.
RISK by CatalenaMara is based on "Return To Tomorrow".
Kirk stood alone on the observation deck, the lights dialed down to their
lowest level. He rested a hand on the bulkhead, feeling the cold of the
metal seep into his skin, his soul. Focusing his attention on the thrum and throb
of the Enterprise engines enabled him to keep other thoughts at bay, for just
a moment. . . . His ship. The service. Today, they had demanded one more
sacrifice.
A WALK IN THE DARK by Elise Madrid is a sequel to "Devil in the Dark".
They walked deeper into the tunnels, away from the Horta's nursery and
further away from the noise and disruption of the human installation. Spock
felt a slight unease. . . . He knew his captain wished to speak to him regarding
his... lapse. Spock could think of it no other way.
CATCHING A WILD GOOSE by Farfalla Caquí is set many years in the future, after the events of "Generations" and "Unification" ("Star Trek: The Next Generation").
Spock walked calmly into the Starship Titan's state of the art holodeck.
. . . As soon as the door clicked shut, Spock began setting up his designer reality. "Computer, create for me the bridge of the original Starship Enterprise."
Within seconds, the black grid nonchalantly transformed itself into a perfect, living likeness of the Enterprise bridge. Spock stood dumbly in front of the captain's chair, staring around at his surroundings...
IN LOVE WITH MY CAPTAIN by Farfalla Caquí is a short mood piece, and there are two poems, "Everything" by Helen and "Petals" by Danielle Stewart
CGA art by T'Guess, Virginia Sky, and Helen. Traditional art by Liz Woledge and J S Cavalcante
A note on the stories... "Cannot Touch" has appeared on the internet; it has been revised and expanded with an additional scene for publication here. I decided to include an additional two internet stories in this issue-"Catching A Wild Goose" and "In Love With My Captain"-as I wanted to have a small sampling of what is out there in cyberspace. These latter two are short pieces, and though they have not been altered from internet publication, their inclusion here does not affect the price of this zine.
"A Walk in the Dark" was previously printed in the K/S CONnections 2003 contest zine.